For this week’s Thursday Thirteen (Fridays in Manila), I write down 13 reasons why American Idol finalist Melinda Doolittle should not win American Idol. I love Melinda, and every week she comes out and does her thang better than most of the other finalists, but here are some reasons why she shouldn’t (and probably won’t) win.
1. You know the Simons (Fuller and Cowell) are going to piss in their pants if they get another Idol who we know is not going to get airplay on Top 40 radio.
2. The number of people who are starting to get turned off by her act of humility is growing by the week.
3. Her singing skills are impeccable – but her song selections say old old old. Sure, she gives a fresh turn to the songs, but they’re still our parents’ music, not ours.
4. She can carry the uptempo songs vocally, but watching her can be a bit off-putting; the woman can’t dance.
5. If this were Seasons Three, Four, or Five, there’s no way Melinda would’ve won over Fantasia (or Jennifer Hudson, hehe), Carrie Underwood, or Taylor Hicks. Well, maybe she’d beat Taylor Hicks, but I can’t see Melinda outselling Daughtry or Elliott Yamin.
6. She is the perfect shock elimination for 4th place this year. Isn’t that usually the case? Tamyra Gray? Latoya London? Chris Daughtry? ;) Okay, so Anthony Federov and Josh Gracin, notsomuch.
7. As the weeks go by, she starts to get predictable. We know what happens to talented but predictable performers, don’t we, Latoya, Tamyra, and Vonzell?
8. She has no neck. Joke!
9. If you think packaging a gray-haired 30-year-old Southern rocker named Taylor Hicks was difficult, imagine packaging a 28-year-old back-up vocalist with no real sense of style.
10. Every Idol has rabid fans, but if Melinda’s fan demographic is anything like Hicks’ Soul Patrol, then Melinda’s chart-topping future ain’t burnin’ so bright.
11. I just can’t see Melinda filling stadiums throughout the nation like Carrie or Kelly Clarkson.
12. Is it me, or is she starting to look more smug with every passing week? Did you catch the look she gave Ryan when he asked whether she was getting tired of all that praise?
And the 13th reason why Melinda shouldn’t win…
13. Melinda deserves so much better than to become another Taylor Hicks.
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