Husbands, our wives are not our…
1. Servants. We are old enough to take care of ourselves; they didn’t marry us just so they could wait on us hand and foot, feeding, cooking, and watching over us. While Genesis says that God created woman to be a suitable helper for man, Ephesians also tells us that we are called by God to take care of our wives. (“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Eph 5:25) Take good care of our wives, and they will take care of us; provide for them, and they will work within their means to ensure our well-being is provided for as well.
2. Bosses. Contrary to what many humorists believe, our wives didn’t marry us so they could tell us what to do. We are the heads of our households; we need to man up and make decisions for our households. If our wives handle the household budget, we must be actively involved in it. John Eldredge, author of Wild at Heart, says every man is looking for an adventure to live and a damsel to save. We mustn’t take the easy route and let them make the decisions simply because it’s easy; rather, remember that they are our partners, and we’re in this adventure together!
3. Punching bags. Don’t we dare lay a finger on our wives for anything other than love! Yes, we are stressed. Yes, we are under a lot of pressure. But our wives are our partners, and they did not marry us so that they could literally serve as our shock absorbers when times get difficult. A popular saying encourages us to “Roll with the punches.” It never tells us to literally do that to our wives.
4. Sex toys. While the Bible tells us not to “deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time,” (1 Corinthians 7:5a), we are called to love and respect our wives, honoring our marriages and keeping our marriage bed pure. (Hebrews 13:4). Sex was created for both partners’ enjoyment, not just ours, so respect their decision when they say “Not tonight,” and ensure their pleasure when they are in the mood. The husband who fulfills and respects his wife’s sexual needs will definitely be satisfied.
5. Security blankets. Romans 8:35-39 tell us that Jesus is our shield against tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, danger, or sword. Jesus, not our wives. Our security comes from Jesus, Who loved us first, not our wives. Nothing can separate us from Jesus’ love, so what have we to be afraid of? By all means, confide in them; be open and trusting. However, do not unnecessarily burden them. A needy husband is an emotionally draining husband. Let’s partner with our wives and, together as a couple, run to Jesus.