Every once in a while, I post personal updates on myself. It doesn’t quite help with the overall direction of the blog, but I really feel it’s important to share some revelations God gave me over the course of the Every Nation World Conference last July 22 to 24. These were among some of the things that were revealed to me:
1. Grace Aiyedogbon shared an inspiring message titled The Banquet Table of the Lord. While several parts of her message resonated with me, there were two particular areas that I felt God was calling to me to pay particular attention to. The first was on what she called “kitchen revelation,” reading from Mark 7:24-30. (In this story, Jesus is approached by a Syro-Phoenician woman who asks him to heal her daughter of demon possession. He replied that it wasn’t right that the children’s food be given to the dogs; she in turn replied that even the dogs can eat the crumbs that fall from the table onto the floor.) The woman believed that even just a crumb from God, the tiniest portion of blessing, is powerful enough to cast out demons. It therefore boggles the mind to think about what may actually be on the table! She then enumerates a variety of things that may be on the table of the Lord, the banquet feast to which we are entitled as children of God, including victory, healing, deliverance, enablement, establishment, flourishing, rest, blessing, and favor! I am entitled to these blessings as a child of the living God!
But equally stunning was this implication: When Jesus basically made the analogy of the woman to a dog, she was not offended. Rather, she accepted His remark in humility and implied that God would bless “the dogs” anyway. Grace pointed this out: “you can’t be anointed and offended at the same time.” How can one receive blessings if there is offense in one’s heart or life? That just struck me deep. More on that later. It’ll all tie in neatly at the end of the blog post. Really.
2. Darlene Zschech spoke about worship (no, really? Really.) the morning of the 23rd. She spoke about worship and service, saying specifically that worship leading – in whatever way one had, whether leading per se, backup, or musician – was a privilege, not a right, and it was our main objective to lead people into his presence. Obviously, it’s about God being glorified, and about ensuring people were led into His presence. As I was listening to that, I received a stunning revelation from God regarding my work.
Here was God’s revelation to me: I had developed a complaining heart in the course of my work, and He was not pleased. He knew I was doing it much of it on my own strength, He knew I was not taking the spiritual implications of the job seriously, and He knew that I had reached a point where I looked at my work no longer as a source of joy and pride, but rather as a job. My service was not an act of worship. It was for this reason that I could not receive the promises He has declared for me in His Word.
Of course, you can imagine how I felt realizing all this, while serving at the Technical Booth on the third floor. It was the first time I’d volunteered for anything other than Communications or Worship my entire Christian life. I see now in hindsight how God mercifully orchestrated all this: by allowing me to serve in a position that was not my strength, that was not my comfort zone, I was more attuned to what He had to say. By relying on His grace to get me through the three days of EN2010, I was more open, therefore, to the revelations He had for me.
Isn’t God amazing?
The last morning of EN2010, I read out of Psalm 34: I will extol the Lord at all times, His praise will forever be on my lips. My soul boasts in the Lord, let the afflicted hear and rejoice. As I was meditating on this – at one point, I fell asleep, and Luis Harder caught me on camera! OH NO! – I received another word. A new season of creativity was headed my way. There will be renewed fire in my writing and songwriting. God specifically impressed upon me to get a guitar, because I would be writing songs with a guitar instead of my usual place, which was at the piano. There will be abundance and provision.
If I can quiet my complaining heart.
Years of getting to this place would normally take years to undo. But then again, if a crumb is enough to cast out demons, then what is on the table? Victory over improper speech. Victory over a grumbling spirit. Victory over procrastination. Victory over mental blocks. It is the kind of victory that one can really sink one’s teeth into, that fat, juicy portion of steak, if you will, to which we are entitled, as children of God, at His banquet table.
So, the past few days, I’ve really been digging into His Word and savoring the messages now that “I’m tuned into His frequency” after so long. It feels good. God has a lot to tell me, and I’ve been listening. As you can see, it is going to be an exciting, exciting season ahead. Thank you God! Bring it on!!
