Last week, Victory Christian Fellowship – Greenhills worship leader Novie decided to include Fire Burns by Jon Owens in the roster of songs for yesterday’s Sunday service, and assigned me to its solo parts.
I was honored but very concerned. Fire Burns is a spectacular song, admittedly, and I was worried about doing this worshipful anthem justice. Adding to my trepidation was Owens’ throaty rendition was such a far cry from my typical boy band delivery, I wasn’t sure I could pull it off. (Not helping was a sore throat and a stomach way-too-full from a delightful meal at Mario’s Restaurant Quezon City.) Nevertheless, Novie trusted me, and I gave it my 100, leaving it to the Spirit to move in the congregation.
I don’t honestly know how I did. I tend to be very hard on myself when I critique myself post-service, and after the first service, I was concerned some may think I overdid the free worship on Fire Burns (and a little too much dancing on the praise songs, but that’s another story; I blame the Pony sneakers – I love to dance praise in these shoes!).
Later on, a gentleman I did not recognize approached me and encouraged me, saying to me, “that is your song.” Confused initially, I said, “No, I didn’t make that song, Jon Owens did.” He laughed and said, “No, I mean, that is your song. You sang it.” The impact of his words then sunk in, and I thanked him profusely. (I thanked God, too, that I got through my first Greenhills worship service without much negative feedback.)
I know I have much to learn from VCF-Greenhills’ leaders, especially since it’s quite a far cry from VCF-Fort. Coming from the latter’s R&B/gospel inclinations, it’s taking this old dog a while to learn the new tricks of the Hillsong United-esque alt-rock guitar-driven fixins of Greenhills. Parang feeling ko, antanda ko na. It’s so not comfort zone-y. But it is a privilege and honor to worship in the presence of the Lord and to be considered to sing with these amazing worship leaders, so I take each week as it comes.
God continues to mold me – through the pastors and Novie, of course – into the artist He envisions me to be; it’s just my job to let myself be molded. While I’d prefer to be behind the scenes, writing the music, right now, He’s called me here, so I just say, “Yes, Lord, thank You, here I am, whatever You want, Lord, Kayo na po bahala.” And He provides everything, including the courage to get through each nerve-wracking minute on-stage.
Your fire burns within me
Burn within me with Your fire
Not by my own power, or my own will, but Yours, Lord, may these all be accomplished.
Photos of yesterday’s service here. (I am never wearing those pants again! Gosh, I’m so big onstage.)